People associate cults with religious groups rather than with family.
A parent with a narcissistic disorder is a self-absorbed, manipulative and compulsive liar. His despotic and totalitarian personality create havoc and toxic dynamics in family structures.
Children are the weakest point to the narcissist as he has absolute power over their members. Kids have no right to feel, they have no right to think and be themselves. He is the leader in this game and his children have nothing to do but to worship that cultish environment.
Children get easily brainwashed to accept ‘the rules’. It is like in the movie “Truman show”. Everything is a lie and deception but you are the last person who realizes this.
You have no right to have your own boundaries and individuality. There is no you as a person. The truth is that you never had your own life. When you become adult you feel guilty that you forget about yourself, your dreams and goals.
One day you can find the courage and stand up for yourself and speak up the truth. If you do that to the leader you can be in serious danger of abuse. You must follow his rules, please the master and walk on eggshells whenever he is not in a mood. Otherwise, he will abuse and scapegoat you. He will manipulate and blame you for your faults until you got silenced and obey once again.
The most important thing for a narcissistic parent is not you as a person but their perfect image to others. Your pain and problems are pointless to them. The cultish family has a very distorted perception of how they want to be viewed by others. You can’t reveal the truth as it is highly prohibited.
Kids are not separate human beings and they have no identity. There is no place for individuation. There is no personal likes or dislikes and preferences what a child wants or not want to do.
For instance: ‘Mom, can we go to the cinema to watch a new cartoon? No, we won’t go there. I watched the movie with my friend yesterday.” In her mind, she doesn’t want to do this so her kid must feel the same. This child belongs to her and he is an extension of her ego.
There is no privacy too. She is entitled to go and look at his all belongings. There is control, manipulation, and isolation. If he goes back home, he can be suspected of something he didn’t do that. Narcissistic parents make him feel guilty to confess the lie they project on him.
When siblings live together they are divided and encourage to conquer to war each other. They often take the role of scapegoat and the golden child. Their weakness and secrets are shared with other relatives and strangers. Personal intimate information about their life is used against them later on.
You can also notice that there are not only abusers but also enablers in that toxic family. They are also called as naive flying monkeys. They shut down your truth in order to protect the image. The truth about them is heartbreaking. They are abusers but they pretend all is fine and perfect. They aggressively cover up the domestic abuse and let kids know they are all alone with their drama.
There is also love bombing devaluation abuse cycle. It leads to the trauma bond. That leads to the Stockholm syndrome that leads to cognitive dissonance. It happens during the time when you think they are just nice and pleasant.
Believe me, they are not as it is only a game to break you. It is very misleading and tricky mind game so be careful what it is going on. When you drop your guard so they come around and hurt you. Any disagreement is taken as an attack as you are guilty of nothing. The whole cycle of abuse is starting all over again.
It is difficult to break this manipulative, dangerous game. It distorts the victim’s mind as well. Beliefs and fake negative emotions hijack victim to fall into a trance-like state. Lies make him stuck and hopeless.
Luckily there is a process that helps you to remove mind fog and confusion. It can help you to become conscious and clear-minded once again. Cultish family members will never change.
You will never rescue them but you can take care of yourself and get freedom back to you and your soul.
