It’s probably happened to you or your friends – despite the fact that the man you’re dating is currently going out with another woman, you harbor thoughts and make moves to get him back. He seemed like such a good man when you were still seeing each other, and getting him back from that other woman should be worth all the effort.
It seems like a natural reaction – after all, you felt a very strong connection with him when he was still dating you. That means that you’re only going through a period of cooling down, and that he’s still very interested in pursuing a deep relationship with you down the line, right?
Wrong. Not many women know this, but a strong connection with a man doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s open to a deeper relationship. So how can you tell whether or not he is?
Men send out signals to the women they date that are just waiting to be picked up and read. Some of these signals are unintended, but they are sent out anyway – read correctly, they can clue you in on the guy’s mood, how he sees you, and his relative emotional availability. Other signals are more direct to the point, and it doesn’t take a CSI to get the picture.
Dating another woman is a direct signal. It’s written all over his face. He’s telling you that he doesn’t feel the same as you do regarding getting into a deep relationship, or at least is not in the position to. His going out with another woman is plainly telling you, “I’m doing just fine.”
So how do you solve this problem? Simple – take him off your radar. Take your attention off of him and focus on what makes you happy instead. Why? Because if you associate your desperation with him, then you’d be putting your hope and survival in his hands – not exactly the brightest thing to do with a two-timer. Instead, focus on yourself. If you think the problem is within you, only then can you say that the solution is within you as well.
From here, the guy will notice a void in his comfortable little setup – an emptiness that you used to fill. He’ll then be forced to either look for another woman to fill that space, or come back to talk to you more seriously.
Whatever he does, it’ll be a step towards the resolution you’re looking for.
