You’ve just arrived home after another date that didn’t go well. Maybe it’s the third or fourth one this month. The only thing going through your mind after these nightmarish dates is that you just want your ex back. Why did that break up have to happen? What went wrong?
Moving on to dating other people may seem like a good idea right after a break up. But you’re likely just going through the motions if all you can think about is that you want your ex back. Is there anything you can do to rekindle the flames of your old relationship?
There definitely are and below are a few beginning strategies to get you on the right path.
First, stop wasting time dating other people. Don’t bother investing time and/or money in people you don’t really want to be with. Start to dedicate your energy, body, mind and soul to recapturing the love of your life. If you are dating, or even worse, sleeping around then you are not in the proper mindset for getting your ex back.
Next, be dignified in the chase. Don’t bombard your ex with text messages or phone calls at odd times. You want them to respect you, not think you’re a stalker. Don’t be a doormat by making yourself seem needy or desperate. Put your best foot forward and be confident. You want your new relationship to be a strong one built on love and mutual respect, not pity.
Third, put together a list of all the things that were good about your relationship. Next to this list make a list of the reasons you believe led to the breakup. Think of ways you can prevent the bad things from happening again and possibly even turn them into good things.
Fourth, when you do get back together put your ideas from the previous step into action. You may be rekindling an old flame but, when you want your ex back you need to look at this as a new relationship. Go to new places, try different activities, create new memories. Sometimes a “change of scenery” so to speak, is just what a relationship needs.
Then create a new destiny for yourselves as a couple. Don’t pressure them or immediately talk about marriage or kids, just find out where you want to go. You don’t have to reach the destination tomorrow, next year or in ten years just agree to map out the future together.