Loneliness, like depression, is simply a problem of life that everyone experiences at one time or another. It is one that millions of people face every day.
Changes in life circumstances can spell out a period of loneliness for anyone. The death of a loved one, relocating to a strange place, the loss of a job or a long illness can leave us feeling the despair of loneliness.
When we are lonely, time seems to slowly grind by and we may doubt whether anyone would find us interesting enough to offer their friendship. Loneliness may turn into depression, a more serious condition. And depression may make us feel even lonelier.
A Simple And Often Overlooked Anecdote
I frequently suggest this strategy to clients who are dealing with chronic loneliness, and their reaction is almost always the same . . .
What? Are you kidding?
Actually, this works, even though it may seem quite preposterous at first . . . as long as you’ll give it the old college try.
If you want to stop being lonely, forget about being lonely.
That’s right. Forget about it!
The idea is to stop dwelling on your lonely thoughts and feelings, so you can free your mind to find opportunities for friendship and association with others.
Here’s how it works . . . once you stop thinking about your pain, and the predicament you are in, you can begin to search for solutions. And you’ll be more likely to find a solution if you think you will. If you have a positive attitude, your mind will be able to attract several opportunities for you to make new friends or find suitable companionship.
Yes, you could go to a bar and find some drinking buddies . . . but that isn’t necessary.
Just try this powerful solution to your loneliness problem: find creative ways to give. Throw yourself into acts of giving. You can actually give your way to happiness.
Know someone who has a problem? Know someone who is down on their luck? Someone who could use a helping hand? Go and help him/her. Offer your assistance. Commit a premeditated act of kindness.
It’s a funny thing . . . as soon as we immerse ourselves in helping others, and forget about our own angst, our own misery decreases and we begin to feel better.
Try giving and loving more. You can always find people who could use a break.
Additional Ideas
1. Look within for answers, using prayer and insight meditation. If you are patient enough, these methods can work.
2. Consult your dreams. Dreams have a way of trying to solve our problems for us, so let them do their magic.
3. Engage in brainstorming activities. Think outside the box. Be willing to go where you haven’t gone before, to consider new ideas and new activities that may take you in the right direction.
4. Talk to a trusted friend and seek his/her advice.
5. Be flexible. Avoid rigid expectations. Be willing to try new ideas and to change.
6. Get started right away. As soon as you start working on the problem, you will feel at least somewhat better!
The worst thing you can do is nothing, or to sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Of course, we’ve all done that at times, and it’s a tempting trap into which to fall!
Once you’ve stopped concentrating on your lonely thoughts and feelings (and feeling as though there is no way out of your situation) you can begin to open your mind to wonderful possibilities of which you may not be aware.
Then get busy doing some form of personal missionary work in your community, or being of service to those in need in some way.
Expand your horizons.
Join new organizations.
If you give it a little time, forget about being lonely and just do something for others, your simple anecdote for loneliness and depression will work like a charm.
