Facing loneliness no picnic. You can have everything in the world, but if you’re lonely, none of it seems very meaningful. I know a couple who wanted to buy a camp on the ocean. When they finally got it, they were divorced and living apart. The waterfront property became a symbol of the couple’s lost love . . .
sat empty for years.
We often feel ashamed of being lonely, and we blame ourselves for any relationships we may have had go wrong. So we become even more depressed. Chronic loneliness and social unhappiness take a toll on people. But there are ways to beat the loneliness syndrome. Take it from me . . . I’ve been helping people do it for over 30 years.
If you need help facing loneliness, this article will give you some proven suggestions, tips and techniques you can use to improve the quality of your life right now.
Tips:
Below you’ll find some easy and straight-forward ideas on how you can curb loneliness and start feeling more involved in life.
1. Think Positive Thoughts.
Think logical, uplifting, possibility thoughts, even when you’re feeling lonely, or you’re missing someone or suffering from the loss of a great relationship. What are possibility thoughts? Thoughts that focus on our possibilities, perhaps hidden, as opposed to thoughts that are based on the limitations of our situation.
Instead of thinking:
“I’ll never meet anyone!”
“My family hates me!”
“No one cares about me . . . nobody has time for me,”
and similar self-destructive thoughts . . .
Try thinking thoughts that will make you feel more positive and upbeat. When you’re facing an obstacle, why not think, “If I look hard enough, I’ll find the silver lining in this cloud!”
If you’re off from work today and you have no one to spend time with, you can always tell yourself, “Good. This is the perfect opportunity for me to turn over a new leaf . . . I think I’ll make something interesting happen!”
The art of happiness is often equated with the quality of the thoughts we think.
2. Get Busy (doing something constructive and hopefully fun)
Does your garage or kitchen need painting? Furniture need rearranging? Is it time to drive down by the lake and visit antique shops or stop at the outdoor fruit and vegetable stands? And when you find time for having fun . . . your relationships will benefit, too.
Last weekend they had the annual Road Kill Cookoff in the mountains of rural West Virginia. The leaves were turning gorgeous and there was a wonderful chill in the air. Lots of people came by to sample the chefs’ gourmet creations.
Everyone had such a delightful time!
Managing loneliness is a lot easier when you find a local festival of some kind and go see how much fun you can have. Go to an Octoberfest or Apple Festival, a wine tasting or maple syrup making celebration. Read the local events part of your newspaper and find out what’s being offered this weekend. Loneliness does not have to stop you form having a good time.
In fact, you can have a darn good time in spite of being lonely, if you take a positive approach and go and get yourself involved in activities that will help you forget about your grief or sadness. Plus, by having a good time, you’ll feel less lonely and depressed.
Random Ideas For Facing Loneliness
Here are various ways you can combat loneliness:
a) Go to the university and look into taking some classes.
b) Go to a spa and get yourself pampered.
c) Volunteer at the local animal shelter.
The art of happiness involves a willingness to try new things, to take a risk now and then and to be more outgoing, even if you tend to be introverted.
Old habits can be discarded and new ones learned. Every problem has a solution waiting for you in its hands, and if loneliness is your problem, begin looking for innovative approaches to the problem. You see, as a result of your loneliness, you could become more outgoing and enterprising. You could do new things in your effort to combat your lonely feelings.
Here’s a helpful hint: Do what you love.
If you love flying kites with the kids, but haven’t had your hands on a kite in years, maybe it’s time to buy a new kite and string and head for the nearest park. One of my clients said he loved to fool with model trains. So I encouraged him to dig up the trainset buried in a box in the basement and set it up again.
Next, we decided he would join the local train club, which allowed him to meet many new people. Then, he put on a train workshop for the boy scouts . . .
which led to his becoming a boyscout leader. Another door opened . . . and led him to discover both professional and personal associations and opportunities.
If you’ve not made time for doing the simple things you love, then it’s time to make time! Spend more time doing what you love and you’ll feel better! No excuses, please.
Happiness stems from many things, but in general, the happiest individuals are those who follow their hearts, keep connected to others,stay busy with worthwhile activities and work, and think in optimistic and positive ways. The art of happiness is all about making something happen.
3. Spend a little time in nature
My clients have found, over the years, that nature can be quite inspirational and healing. Spending time in nature can boost your emotional and spiritual life. It can offer healing in surprising ways.
One of the participants in a stress management workshop I presented came up to me during the break and told me of how she had been given only a short time to live, once diagnosed with cancer. She rented a cabin in the woods and spent her time in quiet meditation, allowing the peaceful, scenic energy of the mountains to restore her spirit. She was shocked to learn, at her next visit to the doctor’s office, that her cancer had gone in remission.
The woman kept the cabin and continued her relaxing, meditative lifestyle, and had kept her cancer at bay for another ten years, as of our last conversation. She told me she would continue to visit her cabin nestled in the peaceful countryside, at every opportunity, for the rest of her life.
So, in summary, you don’t have to give in to loneliness . . .
Just remember, you can beat the loneliness syndrome by doing something different, being a friend to yourself, doing what you love, taking positive action steps, thinking encouraging thoughts, trying new activities, or by doing something nice for someone.
Soon you’ll be on top of the world . . . or your favorite mountain, breathing in the restorative fresh air!
